The Dark Secrets of Stolen Praise

It is the great hidden desire of those of us who lead worship. We want to keep some of His praise. And we want it because it tastes so delicious.

The honeyed satisfaction of appreciation; The sugary warmth of acknowledgment; The rich taste of respect; The golden sweetness admiration.

You know it is wrong. You know you can’t keep it. You know it isn’t yours - it’s His - but you’re left wanting more. And more. And more.

It starts so innocently because you love God, of course, but also because you don’t think you’ll be any good at it. And at the beginning you’re not; you make heaps of mistakes; you’re nervous; you’re convinced of your impending failure and embarrassment. But He doesn’t hang you out to dry - in the middle of all your faults and lack of understanding and myriad of mistakes, God meets with His people. They worship Him. His Spirit leads people into an encounter with Him and lives are changed and faith raised and hope is stirred. And you feel genuinely humbled, overwhelmed even. God in His grace does what only He can do.

Then you get better; more confident, more consistent. And how the people appreciate it. “Thank you”
“Bless you for all you do”
“You are such an encouragement”. People are nice aren’t they?

Of course there are a few people who don’t like what you do or how you do it, but isn’t there always?

Then you end up leading so often and with such consistency that people refer to you as “The Worship Leader”. “The Worship Leader” “The Worship Leader”. And that is who are, that is your role.

And it is then you begin to feel guilty. You know that some of this isn’t just encouragement. You know that you are treasuring your role tightly. You know it isn’t right.

But you’re not stupid - you do not seek to boast (that could look bad), you do not swan around like the big shot (that would be crass). You keep doing what you’re doing. You keep asking God for help - cause you don’t want it to end, you love being a worship leader. The worship leader.

You get a bigger and better theology. Smarter to what we should sing and why we should sing. And you call it growing or developing or maturing. You take up the cause of ‘justice’. But inside you’re stagnating. Your heart is festering with pride and guilt of pride.

And God, being God, still meets with people.

Perhaps as time goes on you grow and improve and become so experienced in all this stuff that people outside of your church notice what you’re doing. Other churches; conferences; events. They want you to lead worship for them. You, for them.

You. Not someone else. You.

And you tell yourself:

“These people need me”
“God has anointed me for this special ministry”
“He has opened all of these doors”
“I have something special”

And you don’t feel guilty anymore. The shame is so huge it would crush you to live with it. So you let it go. You don’t feel guilty - you feel entitled.

Eventually you don’t just ignore the misplaced praise of others. You become complicit in it.
You see your name in lights. You do the interviews. You read the glowing reviews. You believe the bullshit.

And that is exactly what it is. A stinking, rotting dung heap. Wrapped up with spiritual words and water tight theology. And you drag this pile of sewage with you wherever you go.

And God, being God, still meets with His people because - even when you are so misguided that you cannot remember who you are or why you’re here.

-

What I’ve written hasn’t been a stinging criticism of modern worship. Not this time anyway!

It is me. It is who I’ve been; who I am; who I might be.

And it is you. Who you’ve been; who you are; who you may become.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. We can defer.
We can let the truth of His word and the power of His Spirit take hold. Truly transforming us - on the inside first. And all that putrid faeces can be washed away. Or, if you’re on your toes, it may never even grow at all.

We tread carefully.
We lean on grace.
We give it all to Him. The Lamb.

It's who you are and the way you live that count before God. Your worship must engage your spirit in the pursuit of truth. That's the kind of people the Father is out looking for: those who are simply and honestly themselves before him in their worship.
John 4:23-24

"Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and praise!"
Revelation 5:12