Why I keep going on about the same stuff

It is a question many of you have asked me - why do I keep going on about the 'modern worship' thing and all the palaver; tours, awards, industry nonsense....

I know I am bit like a broken record.

I know that it can come across as judgemental/pious/self-righteous

I know that it does not really fit with the whole 'unity' thing

I know all of this.

And it does trouble me - as much as I wrestle with God about anything, it is with this stuff....

Yet this is why I keep saying and writing this stuff:

18 months ago I was in a meeting at a big conference, maybe 4 or 5 thousand people there, and it was in the middle of the worship. I wasn't really 'enjoying' the worship, but I was still singing and worshipping (what else can we do?). And it was then I had a strange experience. I was in my heart to some degree saying 'Lord you are worthy, but I can't see you here in the worship in this meeting - where are you?'

As I prayed this I felt the presence of God. Heavy upon me. Everyone else was still shouting, singing and dancing. I found myself on my knees, in awe. It's a good place to be.

Then I felt the Lord begin to speak to me - 'David, speak - you know what to say'.

Now I knew the things I needed to say (and some things I needed to do), but I didn't want to say them. I felt a bit like Jonah; running and hoping a fish would eat me up. I asked God to get someone else to do it. Someone nicer. Someone people like. Someone famous.

But He said 'no'.

I felt unworthy in every way, I still do. And I still I am.

He also told me not to shave for 3 months which meant I looked like this:

And I began to learn that we can only do what he asks us to do.... and sometimes we might not want to do it.....

Jeremiah 1 says this:

"Get yourself ready! Stand up and say to them whatever I command you. Do not be terrified by them, or I will terrify you before them."

I don't want to hurt anyone. But I will not be silent.

I don't want to discourage anyone. But I will not be silent.

I don't want to condemn anyone. But I will not be silent.

I don't want to pure scorn on anyone. But I will not be silent.

I don't want to pull down anyone's ministry. But I will not be silent.

And I will keep going 'til He says otherwise.

dg

PS. if you don't know what I'm going on about try these for starters:

Cross Rhythms Article

The Dark Secrets of Stolen Praise

A Similar Voice

The Fat and Bloated Kings of Tiny Little Kingdoms

Part 1 - What I am for - Trinity Church Cheltenham